I Totally lost my Crap

I would love to be able to start by saying that completely losing my crap only happens on rare occasions. However that would not be completely true. Therefore I am just going to say that I completely and utterly lost my crap today. Technically it started a little less than 13 years ago when I had my last full night of sleep. Then I was blessed with children!

This time started out like so many of the others….. sleepless nights. Let me remind you, my children are 12, 8 and 7. I feel that I have earned the right to sleep through the night, so why does it not happen? I was awaken first by not feeling so well. I had made the horrible decision to celebrate with my daughters after their dance recital at Dairy Queen. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Dairy Queen, it however does not love me (sorry TMI). I finally got to sleep when I was woken by death breath being breathed into my face by my youngest. Oh my goodness it’s time to start using mint tooth paste and/or staying in their own beds. Being the loving wife that I am I pushed her over to her fathers side of the bed and went back to sleep. I woke at my usual time to get ready for the day but decided I would lay there for a bit considering the rough night I had had.

Big mistake!!! I woke up at 9:00a.m.! In most situation this would be classifies as AWESOME!! As mothers we know that when the routine is shifted chaos breaks lose. All I wanted was to sit and drink a cup of coffee. Not going to happen. Children needed fed, hair brushed, help reaching toys up too high in their closet (because of course this would be the day they want to play with that one toy they never ever play with). I finally got to sit and proceeded to follow my morning routine as usually. I had a cup of semi-warm coffee, my devotion “Out of the Spin Cycle” by Jen Hatmaker, which couldn’t be more fitting and a little peace and quiet.

At this point I felt like everything was going to be okay. We had gotten over the hump of chaos and were off to what could be a great day! Then I was reminded that I had promised to take my children to the park. Here I was being obedient to God, reading His word, being refreshed and renewed through scripture, could everyone please LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I threw on a bra, a ball cap and brushed my teeth (your welcome), threw the dog and 3 children in the car and headed for the park. All was dandy. Kids were happy playing, I was walking the dog trying to avoid the thousands of sprinklers that were spraying everywhere and attempting to pretend that my dog is not a complete untrained basket case who feels the need to jump on everyone he sees. There couldn’t of been more praise of thankfulness when it was time to leave.

We made it back home where no one could agree on what to eat, my husband had told our son to mow the yard and I forgot to remind him, kids were fighting and I was pushed over the edge. It was one comment out of my youngest’s mouth that was the final straw, “I don’t want too”, and that was it. Guess what? I don’t want too either!!! I don’t want to be an adult today. I want to do nothing. I want to sit and read my devotion in peace in quiet. I want to enjoy my cup of hot coffee, not semi-warm coffee that I will end up leaving in the microwave until tomorrow because I forgot I was warming it up. I don’t want to go to the park where they have decided to water the entire park at one time. I don’t want to argue over what everyone wants to eat I just want everyone to eat. I just want to be. I want to be me, not a mom, not a wife, not anything other than me.

Then it hit me… This is me! This is life! It isn’t always easy, it doesn’t always go as planned, but it is mine. I have been blessed with the opportunity to raise these three beautiful children who drive me crazy at times. I live in a country where I can worship anytime, any place. It doesn’t have to be curled up on my comfy couch with a hot cup of coffee. It can be anywhere. I have the flexibility and the time to take my children to the park where they can run and play without me having to worry about their safety. We have food on our table everyday. I am blessed, even in those difficult day when I lose my crap!

I am thankful for God’s grace!!!

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