The last quarter of the year was great for me creating traction with my art business and the blog. I even scored my first paid job as Sincerely, Mrs. Mommy! I mean, this had been the goal since the beginning of 2018.
After going so hard and finally seeing the results, I should’ve ended 2018 on a high. However, the last few weeks threw me for a loop. I was on an emotional roller coaster drained from the holidays, my grandfathers passing and so much traveling. It felt like the year ended wonky and I just didn’t know how to feel. Being so tired and out of it, I didn’t even go out to celebrate for New Years.
Pity Party Invitation
Finally past my breaking point last week, I asked my husband for what I call PTO (Personal Time Off). I didn’t want to be a mommy, a wife, a friend, a blogger, an artist, a girl boss, nothing, I just wanted to be plain ol’ Desirae.
Earlier in the day I was really looking forward to it, then I don’t know… something happened and I just felt so overwhelmed, sad, and it’s like all the emotions piled on me and I decided to just stay home and reschedule PTO for another day of the week.
I was stewing deeeeeep in my pity party. As I folded baby clothes I tried so hard to cry. I felt like maybe if I cried it would help me release the tension.
Y’all I tried to think of sad things and how hard the past few weeks had been. I even tried my three year old’s trick, squeezing my eyes to get those tears to come. And you know what happened? Only a few drops could come out.
I wiped them and said to myself, enough! I thought this is absolutely ridiculous. You can’t even cry! I mean, that’s been my go-to for years – cry it out and feel better. I couldn’t even do that. Hmm, I see where my son gets it from – but I digress.
What Do Successful Women Do?
Then instantly I thought what do successful women do? And it hit me – Successful women don’t have pity parties, they strategize to get stuff done. Well of course, in the moment I was so upset I used another choice word, but you get the point LOL.
I put down the clothes, and walked out of the room to grab a paper and markers and started writing. And kept writing. And the more I wrote the more ideas of what successful women do flooded to my mind and poured out on paper, until I ended up with this final draft:
Successful women don’t have “pity parties”, they stategize how to work smarter and more efficient in order to get what they want and where they want. They make moves and get work done!
Then I showed myself some love with affirmations of what I want to see for myself: “Desirae, you are that successful woman and you are wealthy, influential, emotionally stable, intelligent, and spiritually strong! You got this! BOSS UP!”
But I’m Only Human
There are times when sure, life is hard, unexpected situations catch you off guard. You’ll need some time to recover. But if you want to be successul and continue to make progress you can’t just sit in that “pity party”. Misery loves company but that doesn’t mean it has to be you – or that you need to invite anyone else.
My word for 2019 is growth and I definitely saw it in that moment. It’s like my soul said, “Sis, I know you’re tired and been through a lot the past few weeks, but you said this was your year to grow. So grow up and boss-up!”
No More Pity-Parties!
So no! No, you can’t have the pity party and sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Get paper and pen and create a plan. No, you can’t get a DJ and play pity songs. Listen to your hype song, and get those endorphins dancing to set you in a happier mood! No, you can’t buy any sad comfort food to eat at the party. Use that money to invest back into your business, side hustle, or hobby. No, you can’t call your girlfriend up and sulk in your hardship. Look at yourself in the mirror, and call out all the things that ARE going right.
Remember who you were made to be and encourage yo’ self!
People Are Rooting For You!
Listen, someone is out there rooting for you, believing in what you have to offer the world. And even if you think, well no one has told me, or I don’t have much to offer. Trust me, eyes are always on you and you’d be surprised who is looking up to you and admiring you.
Believe it or not, not everyone is out there trying to rain on your parade, steal your shine, be a hater, or prey on you. Chile, who cares about that negativity!?
There are people out there who want to march right behind you in that parade waving a flag with your name supporting you. They are holding up a mirror so your can reflect and shine brighter reaching the darkest places in others lives (maybe even your own). They are loving on you and speaking good about you behind your back to people you don’t even know. They are praying for you to succeed, and are genuinely happy when their prayers for your breakthrough happen!
Sis, It’s Time to Boss UP!
So be kind to yourself, love yourself, encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and be a successful woman. And when those hard times come – you’re human take a couple minutes to feel it, process, then regroup, because there’s work to be done. You got this! So say good bye to the pity-parties. It’s time to grow up and boss up!
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