I have been battling hair loss for almost 15 years now. This year, after watching Tamar Braxton cut her hair, I decided to entertain the idea of cutting my hair and just wearing it bald or wearing a very low cut. I would do it for my 41st birthday as sort of a “rebirth” of Kamia. I told my hairstylist, of over 10 years, that I was thinking about cutting my hair and her response was “do it girl!” I told another one of my friends and she encouraged me as well. Since I was on the fence about my decision, I didn’t want to tell too many people because they could’ve easily talked me out of doing it. Leading up to my birthday, I decided to hire a photographer to document the process so that I could have a permanent memory of it.
  Kamia Hayes, photo by Kayla L. Smith

When I woke up on my birthday, I had all kinds of butterflies. I actually entertained the idea of backing out, just a few minutes before my appointment. Initially, when I saw the finished product, I was shocked, I didn’t like it, and I didn’t feel pretty. I was very uncomfortable, and I wanted to cover it back up with a scarf, but I kept telling myself, “you got this Kamia,” so I pushed through, did my makeup, got dressed, and rocked out my photoshoot!

  Kamia Hayes, photo by Kayla L. Smith  

During the photoshoot, something amazing happened. It began to rain. Anyone knows that rain + black girl hair= DISASTER! I asked the photographer if her camera would pick up the raindrops and we stood in the rain and finished the photoshoot. 😊

I have learned so much about myself in these past few weeks. I was thinking that I had divorced the opinions of others (that’s one of my favorite things to say) when in actuality, I had a dysfunctional relationship with others’ opinions. You know, like that boyfriend that you know isn’t good for you, but you keep taking him back?! It was sort of the same situation. I allowed what I “thought” people would say or do, to control my decisions for a long time.

  Lost & Found – Finding Myself Through Hair Loss by Kamia Hayes

The support has been OVERWHELMING, to say the least. I also thought that my decision to share my story publicly was to empower women to be comfortable in their own skin. However, what I’ve realized is that it’s bigger than hair. Every woman can relate to my story if they take hair out of the equation and substitute it with their own “limiting factor.” My story is simply about finding the strength and beauty that awaits on the other side of facing one’s fears. Not only did I face my fears, I found my purpose.

 

Kamia Hayes, Photo by Kayla L. Smith

Kamia Hayes

Check out Kamia’s portfolio as a Makeup Artist and daily inspiration via Instagram (byKamiaHayes) and Facebook Kamia Hayes. Want to read more from Kamia? Check out her story of secondary infertility on, “Overcoming Our Battle with Infertility“.

And before you go, how about reading another personal story on uncovering old secrets and finding self? “Who’s That Girl? Reclaiming My Self-Worth” by Desirae Ofori