Grandma Knows Best: Wisdom for Life by Mildred Greer

“They” say experience is the best teacher, and honestly there’s nothing like sitting at the feet of a wise Grandmother sharing the secrets she’s learned about life. I’ve decided to start a series of interviews with Grandmothers, that will allow all of us to virtually take turns sitting with a wise woman. Today’s interview is with my very own wisdom gem, my Grandmother, Mildred Greer. Enjoy!

Tell us a little about yourself.

My name is Mildred Greer, from the island of Antigua in the Caribbean. I’ve been married for 64 years. I have seven children, six of whom are alive, 12 grandchildren, 11 whom are alive, 3 great-grands and another great-grandson on the way to be born in August. God is good to me! I think I am one of his specials. My main career before retiring was a Nursing Assistant in a Nursing Home and also a Childcare Worker with the babies in the nursery. I believe what I learned in the Nursing Home is what I’m doing right now with my husband. God was preparing me and I didn’t even know it.

Mildred and Ed, celebrating 12 years of Marriage with a family photo. Photo by Mildred Greer family.

What do you think our generation of wives and mothers need to hear or understand to do and be better in life?

You have to first know what you want out of your life. In any situation, is it what you want?

Most people will say they want to be happy. If you want to be happy you’ll need to work towards what you want to make you happy. If you want a happy life, think of what makes you as a person happy.

For me, three things that make me happy: 1. Out of my married life, I wanted a happy home and family. Since I got married at 19 to now – I’ll be 84 in June – the number one thing that makes me happy is to have a clean and neat home. It doesn’t have to be expensive furniture, just clean. 2. I also want to have a good relationship with the Lord. 3. I want to have a good relationship with my husband.

If you could meet with couples married 10 years or less, what advice would you give them for longevity in their relationship?

  • Put God first in your life, and then your marriage. Let God lead in your life and marriage. God directs us. This may be a little difficult for some who may not be Christians. If that person doesn’t know God, it doesn’t mean I should refrain from telling them about God. What I’m saying, He might be ministering through me to them, and that might make them want to choose God.
  • Your husband is number two, let him lead. Give him his place and his honor. He might not be loving and he might not treat you the best– not that he’s beating you up, but not nice or polite. We as Christian women can be his light and example. I try my best to live this way and live what’s right and what God expects from me. God is not going to ask me about my husband, He’s going to ask me about me. So I live my life for God. I could get upset and say I’m going to leave. Doesn’t matter if we have disagreements, I still do everything I know I’m supposed to do as a wife. And that make me happy, because I’m not going to revenge. When you have those problems find a closet in your house and go to the Lord in prayer, that is what has helped us to live so long together.
Mildred and Ed, married for 64 years. Photo by Rebecca Greer
  • Also take care of yourself and do things that make you happy. Dress nice, go to the hair dresser, or if you can’t afford the hair dresser fix your hair yourself. Even if I’m just going to the store, I put on my scarf, a little powder on my face, put on my jewelry, and fix my hair. Some men need help getting dressed {styled}, so you can help him too! You don’t want to look nice, and they look like… you know. These things lift your spirits.
  • Some people forget each other after they get married, and that’s what causes some marriages to go down. You have to take care of each other. He might not like it, so explain to him why it’s important, then back off a little. Let him know you care.
  • Know when to nag. I wait when he’s sitting down and quiet because then I know he’s listening. Don’t tell him too much about his family unless you are lifting them up in prayer. Don’t command him to do this or do that, they don’t like that. And if you’re going to tell him to do something you have to learn how to tell him. I’m learning these things now.

Do you have any advice for women struggling with low self-esteem?

I don’t have so much experience with that, until lately now since my husband has a little Dementia. I sometimes don’t get to go out and it stresses me a little bit. I think of all my life that I didn’t get to college. I wanted to become a Nurse or a Teacher.

When I’m feeling a little low – I hear this small voice. You birthed 7 children! I think of my life as a mother and what better career is that. I was in ministry with my husband and we won so many souls to the Lord. 64 years of Marriage, what a blessed life. Look back over your life and think of the good things. I don’t have to feel like I did.

Get your hair done, dress yourself, go to the store. Take care of yourself, put yourself first.

Mildred staying true to her advice to dress up, and look your best. Photo by: Desirae Ofori

Please leave us with a few last words of encouragement

  • I find that a lot of women are struggling today. The thing that gets me are the ones that are newly married 3-4 years and they complain about their husbands working or being busy. They are men, they are not like us women.
  • We were taught that men are the more aggressive one. But I’ve found out that if we wait on them, we’ll be really unhappy. I have learned after awhile, they want the same thing and wonder the same thing from us. So when we keep back and waiting for John to give us a kiss, to hug us, John is waiting too. They’ll be so happy if we make the first move. I remember one lady told me sometimes I want my husband and he’s not studying me. So I take what is mine and enjoy myself.
  • A lot of wives don’t wear attractive nightclothes. It can be a t-shirt but not torn up. We can drive them away. Get your lingerie and a little shorts pajama night set. Make yourself presentable not just in the day but in the night. Prepare the bed. Every few months, fill the tub, add bath salts, a little décor and maybe earlier in the day let your husband know that you’re going on a date with him that evening, in the bathroom. The two of you relax in that tub, light your candles. Make the bed up, petals on the bed or the pillow. There’s so much we can do! Pamper him. Make them feel wanted and appreciated.
  • Put God first in your life and He will work everything out.
Mildred Greer Signature
Mildred Greer

5 Comments

  1. Braggs

    May 14, 2018 at 8:11 pm

    OMG g-ma Mildred u hav really shed a light 🙋🏾‍♀️

    1. SincerelyMrsMommy

      May 19, 2018 at 11:12 am

      She really has! Thanks for reading!

  2. Monique

    May 18, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    Wow, I love your idea to get the small pieces of advice from our elders. This definitely made me think about a lot being married for 7 years myself it was definitely worth the read. Keep it up!

    1. SincerelyMrsMommy

      May 19, 2018 at 11:13 am

      Thank you so much for reading it! They have so much wisdom, and we often neglect or forget that – They are definitely worth being highlighted.

  3. Ayisha

    June 18, 2018 at 9:49 am

    Amen Grandma!! What a blessing! Always loved her thoughts and wisdom on marriage. Miss and love her. Awesome work Des..Thank you for your obedience. To God be all the Glory.

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