So today is the start of the 2nd week since I left my full-time job and career in health care to make the jump into full-time Entrepreneurship. You can read about it here. The day I left, I never intended to really put it “out there” that I had moved on to full-time entrepreneurship. My husband, however, made the sweetest post on Facebook and invited everyone else to celebrate with me. My love language is words of affirmation, so he got a big win for that! I knew I had my family and closest friends supporting me, but to see the outpour from so many others really blessed my heart. Thank you! I don’t have enough words!
The next 72 hours were a whirlwind of big news, surprise discoveries, opportunities, bookings, creating, and convos with future clients. I mean, it was like God was giving me a jam-packed preview of 2018. I said it would be my year to jump, my year of yes, my year of to do and be all the scary, good and amazing things I’ve been dreaming up. And here they all were, in one weekend! It’s like God said, “You said you trusted Me? Ok, how about now?”
You’re Not on PTO, You Still Have to Make Money
The following week (January 1st) I made plans to put in a lot of work with all of my endeavors. However, I was challenged with not feeling well and juggling to take care of our two-year-old son. My mind wanted to do a lot, but nursing myself and taking care of my son took priority. And although I thought, “I’m glad I don’t have to go into work”, hanging over my head was also, “You’re not on PTO, you still have to make some money.”
Yeah, that part. That part is important. “You still have to make some money”. As glamorous and empowering being your own boss sounds, it’s also hard work and a lot of pressure. You have to do what it do, to keep the basics in order, like shelter, utilities, food, and gas in the car. The dollars may not be rolling in on a steady paycheck (yet!) and you have to make some responsible, yet hard decisions. What’s more important? Comfort or necessities? I’m okay with letting go of cable, I’m okay with not eating out, I’m even okay with refraining from the clearance rack (Frugal Frida over here!). I knew this may have to happen. But there was something that hit me last week like a ton of bricks that I was not ready for… just yet.
Can I Afford His Current Childcare?
I’ve toyed with the idea over the past several months, just for the fact that we needed to start saving some money. But this, I thought I could hold on to a liiiiiiitle bit longer. Most would think that since I’m now working for myself, that I would just keep my son at home. In simple terms sure, maybe you can say I’m a Stay at Home Mom, but more specifically I’m a Work at Home Mom. Along with taking care of our home, I am also in charge of running full-time businesses, they are my new full-time jobs. I still have to oversee and run these to help bring income into our home.
So, not having reliable and consistent childcare for Samson is not really something I can work with right now. At least not in the beginning; I have a lot of building to do. I would love to get to a place where I would only need childcare on a part-time basis. And not because I financial constraints, but because I’ve been able to get enough of the “heavy-duty”, high concentration tasks complete and I can manage him at home on a lighter day.
Even then, if money is still tight – I’ll make the necessary adjustment and bring him home. We will find our groove and make it work. But until then, this is where we’re at. This is what I need.
So the hard decision, I had to make is moving him from one daycare/school to another. I visited a place on Thursday morning, and by that afternoon I was already talking to his daycare about withdrawal for the next day. It was a responsible yet VERY hard and emotional decision for me. I remember how hard it was for me to even move him in there at 8 months. Now he’s 2.5 years old! He’s grown up there and has had a lot of love and care shown to him. They in a sense have become a second family to us.
Juggling Responsible and Hard Choices
A Mom Boss has to make some responsible and hard choices. Deciding to put your child in the care of someone else is a hard move – but if you’re in need of it, it’s a responsible decision. You do it because you want the best for your child, you do it because maybe you need some time to work or get things done, you do it because it’s a necessity – not a luxury.
You know what? The guilt tries to creep in like it does when you were an employee for someone else. Except then, you feel like it’s justified you don’t have a choice. But to work at home, be your own boss, and you still have someone else look after your child – that’s a new guilt I wasn’t expecting. Because you chose this lifestyle. You chose to step out to follow your dreams. But you know what? I chose to be an example to him when he gets old enough to understand. I’m making the sacrifice now, which in reality is an investment. Because once this Mom Boss really gets this show on the road and steady – I will be able to take true PTO and not worry about how things are going to get taken care of, or that if I take a day off, I might miss making money for an important bill. From this moment on, I’m going to look at this as my investment season, not one of sacrifice.
To any other Mom Boss’ and Mompreneurs who are struggling with the responsible hard decisions when it comes to your children and childcare – and as to why they are or aren’t at home with you while you build your empires, keep your head up and your heart full. You do what’s best for your family, in the best way you can. You can do this. We can do this. I can do this.
Check out my Working Mom Guilt: 5 Truths to Set You Free. It will open your eyes and help you let go of some of that guilt of being a working mom.
P.S. I just want to thank the teachers and staff at Excel Christian Academy for taking care of Samson so well. And for the Free Life Church family and friends who would “peek in” on him every now and again. It really helped this Mommy feel more at ease over the years. And special thanks to his very first teacher, who also happened to be his last teacher there, Ms. Melissa Windsor… It’s like coming full circle. THANK YOU! You’ve always treated and taken care of Samson as if he were your own. It never went unnoticed, I am so grateful! You got next! xoxoxo