My husband and I are similar in a lot of ways. Although we both value marriage, he chose to wait until he was married to have children and I had three children before meeting him. We married May 2, 2011 and decided to start trying to get pregnant immediately. After a year of trying without success, my husband suggested, because of my age, that we meet with a fertility doctor.
On August 4, 2012, we sat in the doctor’s office and listened to him explain to us that Renard would NEVER impregnate me! The only way that it would happen would be through Invitro Fertilization (IVF). A few months later, we decided to go through the process. I did not do my research. I wanted to have a baby with my husband, so this was something that I was willing to do. The process was tedious. I had to give myself a shot every day leading up to the procedure. Although it was an outpatient procedure, I have a ZERO tolerance for pain and it was not easy. I remember crying when it was time for Renard to give me a shot.
On November 10, 2012, I took a pregnancy test and the result was NEGATIVE! How is this even possible?! I’d been pregnant FIVE times prior so clearly I am Fertile Myrtle over here. I didn’t understand how the test could be negative. I began to question myself. What did I do wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t have sang on the praise team that Sunday. Maybe I did too much at work. I felt guilty. Eventually, we agreed to continue to try on our own. We prayed A LOT. We would get in arguments because I was too tired to have sex during my fertile weeks and my husband felt that we needed to have sex every chance we could get. Before we knew about our infertility problem, sex was enjoyable. I remember thinking, “I’m going to have sex with him now, but after I get pregnant, I’m not having sex anymore!” My husband became depressed, and even entertained suicidal thoughts.
My husband decided to go to the doctor and was diagnosed with 2nd degree Varicocele. As an attempt to reverse the issue, he had to undergo a procedure that had a 50% chance of reversing his infertility. After the procedure (June 15, 2013), he decided to write a note to God. This was something that I learned about later. In this note, he declared that in 6 months, his wife would be pregnant with their child. It was an act of faith. For a while, I had been experiencing irregular periods. I would begin to spot a few days before my cycle. For some reason, I didn’t spot leading up to my period for the month of January. I told my husband and he urged me to purchase a pregnancy test. We had been disappointed so many times that we were so nervous to take the test. We took the test and received a POSITIVE result! I believe that it was the happiest day of both of our lives. After we calmed down, he showed me the letter that he wrote to God and I was reminded (thanks to my handy dandy ovulation tracking app) that I got pregnant exactly 6 months from the date of his procedure.
God showed Himself faithful and blessed us with a beautiful healthy baby boy and we thought that our family was complete. A couple months before our son turned a year old, we found out that we were pregnant again. This time, we weren’t as excited as the first, but God quickly reminded us of how we were begging Him to bless us with a child less than a year ago. When Evan was born, we decided that he would definitely be our last child and I decided to have a tubal ligation. I love God so much because it does not matter what OUR plans are, if it does not line up with HIS plans, He is going to make adjustments. We are now expecting our 3rd child together, the same couple who was told a few years ago that we would not be able to conceive without help.
This journey has taught me that Jesus is the ONLY help that we need. If you read the Gospels, you will find that every miracle happened because of faith. Ultimately, it took faith for Jesus to give His life for our sins. When waiting for your blessing, it is easy to feel hopeless and become discouraged which is why it is imperative to surround yourself with people who will encourage you and hold you up when you are weak. Thank God for the baby that will come. Make it real by naming the baby. Choose some sort of act of faith (purchase a blanket, stuffed animal, or even a crib, maybe write a note to God, etc.), and seal it with prayer and faith that God will bless you with a baby. God is able, but sometimes He waits for us to take the first step.
Kamia is a co-author in the devotional book ‘Barren in a Fruitful Land’. This is a 30 day devotional with 15 testimonials from women who have walked the journey of struggle with pregnancy and childbirth. If you are interested in a copy of the devotional and or making contact with Kamia – you can reach out to her at KHayesArtistry@gmail.com